The Story of an Hour (and a Half)

My apologies to Kate Chopin for parodying the title of her brilliant story (read it! it's very short!), and also to anyone who reads this for my silliness. Just having fun - please forgive me.


"Give me the chart, Nurse Irish."

"I've checked it over and over, Doctor. I don't understand what has happened. I was watching throughout the procedure, and in my professional opinion, you did everything correctly. But somehow, it's still come out all wrong! Just look at her! What are we going to do? Should we leave the patient as she is, and simply apologize and hope she doesn't sue for malpractice? Or - and this is immoral, but if we are desperate - we could simply lock her up in a dark place, never to be seen again. Nobody would have to know! I don't think she can handle being opened up again. And you look tired - I'm not sure if you can handle opening her up again."

"Keep your whiskers on, Nurse," said the doctor. "I'll decide what to do if you can just stop meowing at me for a few minutes."

It was midnight, and the doctor was tired, it's true, but she was also determined. She had never given up on a patient, and she wasn't about to start now. Still, this particular patient had been so difficult lately; Irish's dark suggestion of simply hiding the evidence was tempting.

No. She couldn't. If she did, she could never call herself a doctor again.

"I'm going in, Irish," she said. "I'm going in now. It's perfect timing, actually. Everyone is asleep. No noise and bouncing around from the children's ward; that man doctor is snoring in the lobby, so he can't come hovering and second guessing my procedures. Go scrub in - and bring the surgical implements."

"Yes, doctor," purred the nurse. His green eyes flashed. "If you're sure."

Nurse Irish returned after a few minutes' absence, during which he had properly licked himself clean. "What is the new procedure, Doctor?" he asked quietly.

The doctor turned her gaze from the deformed patient and looked at the nurse. "I'm going to open her up and amputate two inches. Then, provided that there's anything left of her skin after this second operation, I'm going to recreate her toes in the proper position. It's just not right that anyone should have to go through life with mismatched feet - not when I could have done something to fix it. Imagine all the shoes she will miss out on if I can't make this right. I could never live with myself."

The nurse was horrified. "No! Not the shoes! Oh, Doctor. Quickly - you must operate!"

The doctor resolutely picked apart the stitches that she had made earlier that day to sew the patient closed. She thought bitterly of all the time that she had already spent on this patient, when she had so many others that were waiting for her expertise. Still, she knew that if she sent this one to the back of the line and took care of someone else first, she would never agree to see this patient again. It would be so easy to just forget her and all the accompanying troubles and shame from the botched procedures she'd already been through - first the incorrectly formed heel; then the tiny hole at the ankle; then the knot (although, to be fair, there was nothing the doctor could have done to prevent the knot); and now, one foot longer than its twin. Bad enough that the twin had had her own share of difficulties: the small surface deformity that wasn't discovered until much too late. The inexplicable hole in the leg that smelled of sabotage. No, the doctor had to do this now, even if she was tired, even if she would rather do math problems (horrors!), even if she would rather knit with barbed wire fencing than sit here and try to fix this patient again.

She loosened the last stitch and carefully pulled until she had removed the foot down to the marker she had placed before beginning. The patient was quiet; Nurse Irish stood by, flicking his tail and watching anxiously, not daring to interrupt. If the doctor's calculations were correct this time, she should be able to reinsert her tools into the damaged area and slowly rebuild the toe from there, so that the entire foot would be two inches shorter, and thus, the correct size. If her measurements were incorrect... she smiled cynically as she envisioned turning the patient into a purse.

Editor's note: Due to their graphic nature, pictures of the surgery in progress have been respectfully removed.

An hour and a half later, she had successfully completed stage one of the operation. It had been a bold move. The old stitches around the damage had been stubborn, some having to be chased with a tiny metal hook before being gently placed onto a needle for safekeeping. But, in the end, the doctor had won. She looked with relief at the work she had done, knowing that the most dangerous part of the surgery was over. Had she not been able to salvage those stitches, all would have been lost, and she would have been checking the clock for "time of death" rather than simply recording the length of the procedure.

The nurse, the doctor, the patient - all were tired and in dire need of a break from surgery. The doctor's nerves were shot. She wanted to get this done, but she also knew that continuing on without first getting some rest would only result in catastrophe. After all that painstaking work, it was a risk she was unwilling to take. She checked the patient's vitals once more and then carefully tucked her into bed, whispering a promise before she left for the night: "I will finish this, first thing in the morning. You will be able to lead a normal life."

The nurse swished his tale in small, graceful swoops, exhausted but happy. He squinted at the doctor and purred. "Nicely done, Doctor," he said simply, before walking down the hall to begin his nightly guard against marauding insects.


Postscript:
The second stage of the operation was completed as scheduled and was a success. As evidenced by the photos below, our patient is very relieved not to have been made into a purse.






Specs:
Pattern: Grumperina's Jaywalker
Needles: Clover size US 1 bamboo DPNs
Yarn: Claudia Hand Painted in Just Plum, fingering weight - two skeins

Notes:
1. I made the larger size and cast on 84 stitches.
2. I've read elsewhere that some people have trouble pulling this sock on over their heels, but once it's on, the sock is comfortable. It's true!
3. More of a note to self - in the future, I will definitely make sure that my notes are more precise (I thought it might have been a row counter with slippy numbers that caused me to make this one two inches too long, but on further reflection, I think it really was just that my notes were vague).
4. The first skein of this yarn was great. The second had a knot to hold the two pieces of the skein together, and quite a few "slubby" areas. I was surprised by this - bad skein? I hope that's all it is, because I have two more skeins of this yarn in my stash!

I'm It (and so are you, and you, and you...)

Okay, I never get tagged for memes, and then today I got tagged by yarngeek and Singing Gnome for the same one! :) Here goes:

The rules: Each person tagged gives 7 random facts about themselves. Those who are tagged need to write on their own blog those 7 facts as well as the rules of the game. You need to tag seven other people and list their names on your blog. Then you leave those you plan on tagging a note in their comments so they know that they have been tagged and to read your blog.

7 Random Facts:

1. I have a birthmark on my left arm in the shape of a chicken.

2. Dolls with large heads and big, lifelike eyes really creep me out. As in, I will have nightmares. I hate Team America!

3. I have been in five car accidents while driving, all minor, three of them my fault. The three that were my fault were all with parked cars! Apparently, I'm a good driver on the road (no tickets ever, either - knock on cyber wood), but not when I want to stop and get out.

4. Old roses are definitely my favorite flower. They are so much more interesting to me than florist roses. I just bought five more of them this spring, so that makes nine in six different varieties. They are very forgiving plants, too, which is another reason I love them, because I'm not always the most attentive gardener.

5. I prefer pie to cake. Especially apple!

6. I have a collection of fountain pens and lots of ink to go with them, in lots of pretty colors. Dorky, I know, but I've always loved interesting pens to begin with, even before I "discovered" fountain pens.

7. I love pets. I have had some unusual ones, like a tarantula when I was in elementary school and a chameleon in my twenties. I draw the line at hissing Madagascar cockroaches, of which my brother had a few. Right now, the two goats in our backyard are as "unusual" as it gets for us - and they're not unusual at all where we live. We also have two dogs and a cat, all mixed breed. Someday, when I have more leisure time and the kids are older, I would really like to have a small parrot and a bunny - perhaps not at the same time, though.

Seriously, it was harder to find seven people who don't seem to have been tagged with this one than it was to come up with my seven random facts. Your turn, if you choose to play along! :)

VeggieYogaKnitter

Out Gallivanting

Crazy Daisy Knits

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Knitting for Amazons!

Half-Assed Knit Blog

K4P2

Not-yarn pretties!

Just a quick post (I always say that, and then I end up sitting here for much longer than I intended).

First, I had mentioned a few posts back that I had some non-yarn / knitting pictures to share from our little patio garden, so here they are:

The top one is a close-up of one of our Louise 0dier roses; the bottom is a bowl of some of the bazillion strawberries we've gotten from our humble little planter patch. I had a third photo, but it has magically disappeared. It was a close-up of the cute little pom-pom flowers on my chive plant. I would never have guessed that some inexpensive herb would be such a happy little thing with pretty lavender blooms!

I had also hoped to have an updated second Jaywalker picture to post, but I haven't gotten as far along today as I would like, and I'm tired and not feeling so well, so neither knitting nor trying to get a halfway decent photo of what I have completed really appeal to me just now. I think I want to just take a nap! I did get (re)done with the heel flap and the gusset. I still have holes at the ankle, despite picking up a couple of extra stitches on each side and then decreasing on the next row and knitting through the back loop on the first row to make the stitches tighter. Ugh. I'm not sure what else I can do to get rid of that problem, but given the number of socks I've committed myself to with my crazy sock yarn stash explosion, it's going to drive me crazy if I can't figure it out.

Siesta time... happy Sunday!

Extreme suckage, or perhaps, knitter's karma.

(I'm sure experienced knitter's have already "been there, done that" with the events I'm about to relate, but I haven't. So I'm going to yack about it. Just saying.)

Rather than post any pictures tonight, may I refer you to two pictures of a certain Jaywalker sock from yesterday's post? A particular sock with 1/3 of the heel stitches completed, and a close-up picture of said pretty, tiny, uniform stockinette heel stitches?

Riiiiiight. This is what I get for being a sock yarn ho. Anyone who thinks I suck for buying all that yarn... well, tonight, I got spanked by the Knitting Goddess, who caused an optical illusion on my copy of the Jaywalker pattern so that I ended up having to rip back the whole heel, which I had diligently finished tonight. The stupid thing? I should have known it was wrong, since I've already made one correctly, and since it just looked wrong. Pretty, but pretty wrong. Unfortunately, the Knitting Goddess had already decided to screw me over as punishment for my yarn gluttony, so I went ahead and did all 36 rows in stockinette even though I kept thinking that something seemed off. Only after I was done did I look at the pattern and wonder, "Where are all those slipped stitch rows that I'm supposed to do?"

Oh. Whooops. Good thing I'm a teacher and know how to read and follow simple directions [insert forehead slap]. So, where it says something like "*S1, K1, repeat from *", I read "S1, K across." Knitting Goddess, I may be a yarnaholic, but you are a bitch.

I was a little too chickenshit scared to rip back rows and rows of those itsy stitches, so I thought I would just tink back 36 rows of 42 stitches each. Good tinking practice - I've seen some people say on message boards that they can tink back as quickly as they knit!

After tinking back about 10 stitches, I realized that I would cause severe damage to my mental health if I pursued this. Since I want to be a good mommy, I decided not to. So, I counted as I slowly ripped back 36 rows of tiny pretty stitches instead - if it's possible to count while holding your breath, anyway. Next, I found my tiny steel crochet hook between the sofa cushions where I'd left it (because I totally meant to), and started trying to pick up the stitches all patient-like. Not an easy task with a toddler who has suddenly decided that this is the perfect moment to jump up and down on the couch, trampoline style, right next to you, then head-butt you, and finally, shower you with spit as he amuses himself by blowing large raspberries your way - and the "No! Stop!" you keep repeating like a mantra only serves to encourage him and make him laugh. And of course, waiting until he's in bed is unthinkable, because this is a problem that you want solved now. Now. Now.

Somehow, I did it. I came out a little wet and spitty, but otherwise, I think I will be okay. Whatever doesn't kill us gives us something to talk about on our blogs, right?

More yarnaholism... and also progress!

I am getting through this second Jaywalker much, much more quickly than the first. My husband noticed, and just chuckled when I told him I was trying to hurry because I am anxious to try out one of the other dozen or so yarns I've bought recently (read: in the last three weeks). I am done with the leg and a third of the way done with the heel:



And a close up of the stitches:



The tiny stitches make my eyes a little sore while knitting, but I love their uniformity and tininess. I like miniature things... I'm a little weird that way, I guess.

This package from Woolgirl is one of those that came this weekend, and I wanted to post pictures as an example of what I meant in my last post by the oh-so-cute packaging and extra effort that some sellers include in their orders:



I mean, aside from the bad lighting, is that not the cutest ever? Pink tissue paper. A pretty brown ribbon. A little sample of Soak. A handwritten note on stationery about the yarn, because I had really wanted this particular colorway and had contacted Jen at Woolgirl to ask about its availability. Before I had even received this, Jen emailed me to let me know that my package had been slightly delayed by a postal snafu... and it really was only a slight delay, and not her fault. None of this was necessary, but all of it is very, very cool. Will I order from her again? Heck, yeah. And the other sellers I've bought from during my yarnaholic binge? Same thing: emails, nice packaging, goodies. A handwritten note, tissue paper, a cute little cat sticker and gum from Lime & Violet. From The Loopy Ewe, extra goodies in the form of little yarn samples and cards to record which needles I have in my possession. I guess maybe it's not a big deal to some, but to me, when I deal with rudeness at work on an almost daily basis, little things like this make me smile. So I blab and gush about it on my blog. ;)

But, I digress... inside the package from Woolgirl was this WhatNot Sock Yarn by Union Center Knits in a special colorway called - what else? - Woolgirl:

Mmmmmmm....

Also - these adorable Cosa Nova tape measures. The monkey is mine; the pig is for a non-knitting friend, my former boss, for whom I have bought many, many piggy items over the last few years (it's a joke: she calls me Skinny Bitch and gives me pictures of skinny things like reeds, and I buy her random pig paraphernalia. She has a couple of shelves full. She really wants to know where I shop and find all this crazy pig stuff. I love her to death, but I'll never reveal my sources.).



Finally, these also came this weekend from The Knittery, a shop in Australia with "cheerfully handpainted yarns." These are all the 4-ply sock merino cashmere (70% superwash merino, 20% nylon, 10% cashmere)... because, you know, the colors were all so pretty that I couldn't pick one:



Cherries, Moonlight, and Forest Moss. The Cherries colorway is less red and more purple than I had expected (it looks more red in the picture than it really is), but while it's not what I was going for, it's still very pretty.

Still coming: a skein from sKNITches and one from Cider Moon; also, club packages from Zen String and Spunky Eclectic. No more after that other than the two monthly club shipments ... I really have to get back on the wagon and lay off the sock yarn, at least until I've knit more socks, my son's blanket, and baby things! ;)

(Is it just me, or are pictures of the second sock in a pair I've been working on forever and pictures of all the yarn I should be ashamed of myself for having bought in such a short amount of time really, really boring and mundane?)

Pretties.

In the words of my two-year-old, "Appy. Mama'th. Day!"

(This was followed closely by," Mama's pain in butt." Not sure if he's referring to himself or to me with that one. He didn't learn it from me.)

Here are the promised pictures of my yarn binge (and there are actually more that came yesterday - I just haven't uploaded the pictures to the computer yet):

Click the picture to make it bigger.

Top, left to right: Popsicle in Supernova by Spunky Eclectic, Vampyre Sock in Emergency Command Hologram by Lime & Violet;
Middle: Bison and Cherry Bomb, both in Glacier by Cider Moon; Vampyre Sock in Chakotay by Lime & Violet;
Bottom: Country Kitchen in Fingering weight by Claudia Hand Painted Yarns, Apple in Superwash Merino Sock Yarn by Yarn Pirate, Rose Garden in 50% Superwash Merino/50% Tencel by Zen Yarn Garden, Cannon Beach in Superwash Merino Sock yarn by Yarn Pirate, Soft Coral in Gems Fingering Weight by Louet. Whew!

All of the online shops I bought these from are small in comparison to some of the bigger web stores: further proof that size isn't everything, because the service from all of them has been awesome and often surpasses that of the larger online stores. Aside from fast delivery, it's nice to get extra emails about delivery times, questions, or concerns about my order; and then once it gets here, little extra goodies, cute packaging, and handwritten notes - those small kindnesses go a long way, with me, anyway. :) What can I say, I like nice people (who doesn't?) and they go out of their way to do this in a world where customer service can really be lacking or nonexistent. Okay, I'm not necessarily knocking the larger businesses that perhaps don't have the time to be so personal and are just concerned about getting the job done right - it's what happens when you're big, I guess. All I'm trying to say is that I appreciate these efforts of the smaller ones to make their orders extra special.

[/end soapbox]

Ready for your close up?

Yarn Pirate's Cannon Beach




Cider Moon's Cherry Bomb




Lime & Violet's Emergency Command Hologram and Chakotay

Spunky Eclectic's Popsicle




Zen Yarn Garden's Rose Garden and Louet's Soft Coral


Have a happy day, all you mamas! :)

FOs for D!rty Girls

Just washcloths, I promise! hehe Here are the two aforementioned little projects I finished, both for the Get Stitchy April Showers KAL. I don't know what it is about these colors, but while I love them in person, they are soooo not photogenic, so just imagine that they're prettier (well, because they are).

1. Reverse Bloom Flower Washcloth from Melanie Falick's Weekend Knitting


Yarn: Crystal Palace Yarns Cotton Chenille #6752 / Blush
Needles: Addi Turbo US6 circular 16" and Crystal Palace bamboo DPNs, US6, 8 inch

This is such a pretty, pale pink, warm blushy color. It's for the bun, and I have another skein in a minty green for a second one for her as well. I figured, it's cotton, it's soft and squishy... what baby wouldn't like that in the bath? I think I will have to make a cloth or two from this for my little boy, too, because every time he gets his hands on it he oooohs as he rubs it on his face.

Someone on the Get Stitchy message board had mentioned that she had made a couple of these and while the finished product was nice, she didn't enjoy making them because the cotton chenille yarn has absolutely no elasticity to it, so it was hard on her hands. I didn't have this problem, and I think it might be because of the loverly Addi Turbo needle I used until just about the very end of the project. This is the first time I've used one, and I am hooked. I wish I could replace all my other circulars with these!

The washcloth is made from the outside in, so you make the petals first, and then join them together and work the inside. You can either make each petal separately on DPNs or use the circular and let the finished ones hang out until you're ready to put them all together. If you use the circular, you don't need such long DPNs, which the pattern doesn't tell you - I got 8" ones because it recommended them, but if you're mostly working with the circular needle and only use the DPNs for the inside, the length is a bit annoying.

2. Mason-Dixon Knitting Ballband Dishcloth


Yarn: Sugar 'n Cream cotton
Needles: Aluminum Boye US 7

The yellow is not the ugly vitamin pee color it is in the picture - it's much more cheerful in person. Not much else to say about this one that hasn't already been said by the other two million knitters who have made it... I bought a ton of this yarn last summer for these dishcloths, but this is only the second one of them I've made. I tried washing dishes with the first one, but I guess I'm a sponge girl at heart, so my enthusiasm kind of dried up pretty quickly. However, it works better than wet paper towels for the little guy's face-and-hands clean up after eating, and he seems to prefer it to paper anyway, so that's most likely what this one will be used for. I might also make a special one just for him to dry his hands on, because he is really into washing his hands lately.

Next post, my attempt at yarn p0rn pictures. I have gotten some very squishy pretties in the mail this week! :)

Oy, vey.

It's been hard to get anything done lately. I have enough pictures for about four blog posts but haven't found time to post, let alone knit. And I've been doing a LOT of shopping. I guess it's a stress thing (pregnancy + being mommy to two-year-old-monkey + end of school year madness + sleep deprivation = CRAZY), but really, I need to stop. It's all been yarn (well, except for the back issue of Interweave Crochet, the circular and dpn needles order from Knit Picks, and the wooden handle bag and needle case from an In the Bag coop opportunity) and it's all been online orders, so hoo boy, I am in trouble deep with the husband once the postman comes to our door, oh, ten times in the next two weeks. And I was tempted yet again tonight to buy some Handmaiden from The Loopy Ewe! We're not bankrupt or in any such trouble - although it's tempting sometimes, I would never spend our house payment on yarn - but still. Try explaining all that yarn - all that sock yarn - to a man who knows how little time I actually have to knit it. I finally managed, at least for tonight, to listen to the angel on the other shoulder who politely whispered with a British accent, "Don't you think that's about enough for now, dear?", rather than the little demon temptress I've been listening to lately that keeps purring, "aw, come on, it's just one more leeeetle package..."

Upcoming posts will be a couple of small FOs, (amateur) yarn pr0n photos of those goodies that have already come, and some completely unrelated garden pictures (just because they make me happy. I love spring!). Tonight, just some WIP pictures as evidence that yes, I have been working on them, albeit at a snail's pace:

1. Second sock syndrome averted! Jaywalker #2 is in progress.

Yes, that is a bathrobe it is sitting on. It seemed like a good, plain white backdrop at the time, and I actually don't have a white sheet. I wasn't thinking you would be able to tell that it's a bathrobe - go ahead and laugh; I know I need picture help. :) But look what is on top of the bathrobe (and in front of the little boy, who wanted "in" the picture)! I'm a third of the way done with the leg.

Just because I love the little monkey, I let him pose with "mama's sock." He sees a camera and starts the CHEESE! CHEESE! dance immediately. He was thrilled, and pose he did:


Notice the care he takes in holding the sock in his palm, just as it was handed to him. Yep. He's a good boy.

2. Clapotis is still hanging around.
I have worked on it during what little time I could find these last couple of nights, actually. I kind of wanted to keep going on the Jaywalker, but the skein was still damp from a mishap involving the little one and a LOT of water. Okay, mishap is an understatement... maybe it will be funny in three years. I wasn't sure if the yarn being damp would mess up the gauge at all, so I played it safe and worked on this:


I just finished the sixth repeat of the 13 sets of straight rows tonight.

Here's another close-up of the dropped stitches, just because I like it:


Here's the thing: I love these colors. They remind me of my mom's hibiscus bushes growing on the side of my parents' house; all the bright, cheerful, tropical shades. They scream "happy." SCREAM IT.

But, it suddenly occurred to me one night when I was trying on a too-bright pink maternity top, that I don't know that these happy colors will be so "happy" on me. I don't know why this didn't occur to me when I bought it, except for that I wasn't really thinking about what the colors would look like on me, nor was I thinking about there being a reason I don't wear them. I was mostly just thinking of the things and people that they remind me of. The flowers, and a dear friend and mentor who loves and can pull off insanely bright shades of fiesta. I'm thinking I will finish it and decide, and I might end up giving it away to someone who can pull it off if it turns out that I can't. We'll see. I'm having fun making it, anyway, even if I don't keep it - and guess what? I have MORE yarn in my stash in a more suitable colorway, that I was going to use for Ella but that could be Clapotis. Hmmmmm.